{"id":72580,"date":"2020-04-07t12:00:10","date_gmt":"2020-04-07t16:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=72580"},"modified":"2020-04-10t03:50:39","modified_gmt":"2020-04-10t07:50:39","slug":"tax-season-funnies-the-next-political-party-symbol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/04\/07\/tax-season-funnies-the-next-political-party-symbol\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: the next political party symbol"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/pearlygatesheaven_adobestock_17392440.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-72872\" src=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/pearlygatesheaven_adobestock_17392440-424x306.jpeg\" alt=\"illustration of gates of heaven\" width=\"424\" height=\"306\" \/><\/a>and yet another tax lawyer tries to get into heaven.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/p>\n<p>paying your taxes goes for a good cause &#8230; it keeps you out of prison.<\/p>\n<p><u><\/u><u><\/u>the difference between cheating the irs and crossing the street in new york city: one is tax evasion and the other is taxi evasion.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><b>more: <\/b><a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/31\/tax-season-funnies-gabriel-and-saint-peter-confer\/\">tax season funnies: gabriel and saint peter confer<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/24\/tax-season-funnies-a-tax-lawyer-at-the-pearly-gates\/\">tax season funnies: a tax lawyer at the pearly gates<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/17\/tax-season-funnies-gargoyles-in-the-irs\/\">tax season funnies: gargoyles in the irs?<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/03\/tax-season-funnies-the-service-in-irs\/\">tax season funnies: the \u2018service\u2019 in irs<\/a><br \/>\n<strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-49700\" src=\"http:\/\/4f2bur4nuye2cgakm2rm61qk.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/yellow_key_clip_art-e1375897299811-36p-hi-1-e1470686574894.jpg\" alt=\"goprocpa.com\" width=\"39\" height=\"16\" \/><span style=\"color: #b79c00;\">exclusively for pro members. <\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #b79c00;\"><a style=\"color: #b79c00;\" href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/wp-login.php?redirect_to=\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/04\/07\/tax-season-funnies-the-next-political-party-symbol\/\">log in here<\/a> or <a class=\"external\" style=\"color: #b79c00;\" href=\"http:\/\/goprocpa.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div>the elephant and the donkey were probably chosen as political party emblems because they are beasts of burden. if a new political party is started, a taxpayer might suitably be used as an emblem.<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<div>\u201ci have never killed a man, but i have read many obituaries with great pleasure.\u201d \u2013 clarence darrow<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>a beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on rodeo drive and said, \u201ci haven\u2019t eaten anything in four days.\u201d she looked at him and said, \u201cgod, i wish i had your willpower.\u201d<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>a fellow finds himself in front of the pearly gates. st. peter explains that it\u2019s not so easy to get into heaven. there are some criteria before entry is allowed.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>recently a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the pearly gates. st. peter informed them that in order to get into heaven, they would each have to answer one question.<\/div>\n<div>st. peter addressed the teacher and asked, \u201cwhat was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? they made a movie about it.\u201d<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>the teacher answered quickly, \u201cthat would be the titanic.\u201d st. peter let him through the gate.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>st. peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring heaven didn\u2019t *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: \u201chow many people died on the ship?\u201d<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. \u201c1,228,\u201d he answered.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>\u201cthat\u2019s right! you may enter.\u201d\u00a0<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>st. peter turned to the lawyer. \u201cname them.\u201d\u00a0<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>there was this man who was an accountant for the mob. he happened to be deaf and mute. while working for the mob he collected over 500,000 dollars by stealing from the books. the mob boss finds out about this and sends two hitmen to his house. since the accountant was deaf and mute, his brother-in-law translated what the accountant said.<\/div>\n<div>hitman 1: where is the money?<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>accountant signs he does not know.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>brother-in-law: he said he does not know.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>hitman 2: tell us where the money is or we will kill your wife, burn down your house and castrate you!<\/div>\n<div>accountant signs fast and furiously that the money is in a safe that is hidden in the floorboard of his closet and gives the combination.<\/div>\n<div>hitman 1: what did he say?<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>brother-in-law: you do not have the balls!<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><strong>and yet another tax lawyer tries to get into heaven.<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2143,"featured_media":51287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70,3120,3002],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-pro-member-exclusive","category-special"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- this site is optimized with the yoast seo plugin v24.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>tax season funnies: the 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