{"id":72527,"date":"2020-03-31t12:00:18","date_gmt":"2020-03-31t16:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=72527"},"modified":"2020-06-29t11:30:48","modified_gmt":"2020-06-29t15:30:48","slug":"tax-season-funnies-gabriel-and-saint-peter-confer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/31\/tax-season-funnies-gabriel-and-saint-peter-confer\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: gabriel and saint peter confer"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/manlaughingtablet_0o1a7777-2247.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-51272\" src=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/manlaughingtablet_0o1a7777-2247-424x283.jpg\" alt=\"portrait of a young laughing businessman with tablet computer in office\" width=\"424\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/manlaughingtablet_0o1a7777-2247-424x283.jpg 424w, https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/manlaughingtablet_0o1a7777-2247.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/manlaughingtablet_0o1a7777-2247.jpg 600w, https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/manlaughingtablet_0o1a7777-2247.jpg 648w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 424px) 100vw, 424px\" \/><\/a>plus an alligator in a bar.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><em>as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<p>i just filled out my income tax forms. who says you cannot get killed by a blank?<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>taxation is based on supply and demand. we supply when the government demands.<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<blockquote><p><b>more: <\/b><a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/24\/tax-season-funnies-a-tax-lawyer-at-the-pearly-gates\/\">a tax lawyer at the pearly gates<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/17\/tax-season-funnies-gargoyles-in-the-irs\/\">gargoyles in the irs?<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/03\/tax-season-funnies-the-service-in-irs\/\">tax season funnies: the \u2018service\u2019 in irs<\/a><br \/>\n<strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-49700\" src=\"http:\/\/4f2bur4nuye2cgakm2rm61qk.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/yellow_key_clip_art-e1375897299811-36p-hi-1-e1470686574894.jpg\" alt=\"goprocpa.com\" width=\"39\" height=\"16\" \/><span style=\"color: #b79c00\">exclusively for pro members. <\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #b79c00\"><a style=\"color: #b79c00\" href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/wp-login.php?redirect_to=\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/31\/tax-season-funnies-gabriel-and-saint-peter-confer\/\">log in here<\/a> or <a class=\"external\" style=\"color: #b79c00\" href=\"http:\/\/goprocpa.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>when congress writes the tax laws, they often leave it to the irs to \u201cfill in the details\u201d with specific instructions. that\u2019s like asking a hungry lion to protect the sheep from the wolves.<\/div>\n<p><!--more--><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/p>\n<div>\u201cwhen you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the irs.\u201d \u2013 bumper sticker<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>you have to admire the irs. any organization that makes that much money without advertising deserves respect.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>\u201ci feel honored to pay taxes in america. the thing is i could feel just as honored at half the price.\u201d \u2013 arthur godfrey<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>\u201clife is what happens to you while you\u2019re busy making other plans.\u201d \u2013 john lennon<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>\u201cmama always said: \u2018life is like a box of chocolates &#8230; you never know what you\u2019re gonna get.\u2019\u201d \u2013 forrest gump<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>\u201ci didn\u2019t attend the funeral, but i sent a nice letter saying i approved of it.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\u201chis mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.\u201d \u2013 mae west<\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>a man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div>\u201cdo you serve tax collectors?\u201d he asks the barman.<\/div>\n<div>\u201cof course,\u201d says the barman.<\/div>\n<div>\u201cwell,\u201d replies the man, \u201ci\u2019ll have a beer, and my alligator will have a tax collector.\u201d<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/div>\n<div><u><\/u>\u00a0<u><\/u><\/div>\n<div><strong>and finally &#8230;<\/strong><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>a new york tax lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. saint peter asked him, \u201cwhat have you done to merit entrance into heaven?\u201d<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>the lawyer thought a moment, then said, \u201ca week ago, i gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.\u201d saint peter asked gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment gabriel affirmed that this was true.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>saint peter said, \u201cwell, that\u2019s fine, but it\u2019s not really quite enough to get you into heaven.\u201d the lawyer said, \u201cwait wait! there\u2019s more! three years ago i also gave a homeless person a quarter.\u201d saint peter nodded to gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>saint peter then whispered to gabriel, \u201cwell, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?\u201d<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><u><\/u><u><\/u>gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to saint peter, <u><\/u><u><\/u>\u201clet\u2019s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to hell.\u201d<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><strong>plus an alligator in a bar.<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2143,"featured_media":51287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2303,70,3002,1906,2246],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tax-season","category-humor","category-special","category-tax-practice","category-busy-season"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- this site is optimized with the yoast seo plugin v24.0 - 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