when congress writes the tax laws, they often leave it to the irs to \u201cfill in the details\u201d with specific instructions. that\u2019s like asking a hungry lion to protect the sheep from the wolves.<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/p>\n\u201cwhen you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the irs.\u201d \u2013 bumper sticker<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\nyou have to admire the irs. any organization that makes that much money without advertising deserves respect.
<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n\u201ci feel honored to pay taxes in america. the thing is i could feel just as honored at half the price.\u201d \u2013 arthur godfrey<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n\u201clife is what happens to you while you\u2019re busy making other plans.\u201d \u2013 john lennon<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n\u201cmama always said: \u2018life is like a box of chocolates … you never know what you\u2019re gonna get.\u2019\u201d \u2013 forrest gump<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n\u201ci didn\u2019t attend the funeral, but i sent a nice letter saying i approved of it.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201chis mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.\u201d \u2013 mae west<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\na man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm.
<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n\u201cdo you serve tax collectors?\u201d he asks the barman.<\/div>\n
\u201cof course,\u201d says the barman.<\/div>\n
\u201cwell,\u201d replies the man, \u201ci\u2019ll have a beer, and my alligator will have a tax collector.\u201d
<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\nand finally …<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
a new york tax lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. saint peter asked him, \u201cwhat have you done to merit entrance into heaven?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
the lawyer thought a moment, then said, \u201ca week ago, i gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.\u201d saint peter asked gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment gabriel affirmed that this was true.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
saint peter said, \u201cwell, that\u2019s fine, but it\u2019s not really quite enough to get you into heaven.\u201d the lawyer said, \u201cwait wait! there\u2019s more! three years ago i also gave a homeless person a quarter.\u201d saint peter nodded to gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
saint peter then whispered to gabriel, \u201cwell, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/u><\/u>gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to saint peter, <\/u><\/u>\u201clet\u2019s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to hell.\u201d<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" plus an alligator in a bar.<\/strong> \nas collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2143,"featured_media":51287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2303,70,3002,1906,2246],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tax-season","category-humor","category-special","category-tax-practice","category-busy-season"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\ntax season funnies: gabriel and saint peter confer - 卡塔尔世界杯常规比赛时间<\/title>\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n