{"id":59538,"date":"2019-04-12t12:00:53","date_gmt":"2019-04-12t16:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=59538"},"modified":"2019-05-02t15:26:48","modified_gmt":"2019-05-02t19:26:48","slug":"tax-season-funnies-lawyer-vs-accountant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/04\/12\/tax-season-funnies-lawyer-vs-accountant\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: lawyer vs. accountant"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/hands4puzzlepieces_adobestock_94684035.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-48663\" src=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/hands4puzzlepieces_adobestock_94684035-424x283.jpeg\" alt=\"overhead view of 4 hands putting together 4 puzzle pieces\" width=\"424\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/hands4puzzlepieces_adobestock_94684035-424x283.jpeg 424w, https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/hands4puzzlepieces_adobestock_94684035.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/hands4puzzlepieces_adobestock_94684035.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/cpatwpe.s3.amazonaws.com\/cpatrendlines\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/hands4puzzlepieces_adobestock_94684035.jpeg 648w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 424px) 100vw, 424px\" \/><\/a><strong>also: wait, that&#8217;s not what the box means?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>as collected by <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/author\/mckenzie\/\">robert e. mckenzie<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;yes: here&#8217;s to the founding fathers \u2013 slave-owning british citizens who didn&#8217;t want to pay taxes &#8230;&#8221; \u2013 david mazzucchelli<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p><b>more tax season humor:<\/b> <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/04\/10\/tax-season-funnies-who-gets-the-penthouse-suite\/\">tax season funnies: who gets the penthouse suite?<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/04\/01\/tax-season-funnies-april-fool-is-when\/\">tax season funnies: april fool is when?<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/04\/01\/tax-season-funnies-what-money-can-buy\/\">tax season funnies: what money can buy<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/03\/28\/tax-season-funnies-how-golf-is-like-taxes\/\">tax season funnies: how golf is like taxes<\/a> \u00a0| <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/03\/13\/the-tax-season-funnies-aftermath-of-the-revolution\/\">tax season funnies: after the revolution<\/a> | <a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/02\/26\/a-little-tax-humor-worst-video-game-ever\/\">the tax season funnies: worst video game ever<\/a> |<a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2017\/02\/16\/little-tax-humor\/\"> a little tax humor<\/a> |<a href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2013\/02\/15\/how-many-irs-agents-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb\/\"> how many irs agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?<\/a><br \/>\n<strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-49700\" src=\"http:\/\/4f2bur4nuye2cgakm2rm61qk.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/yellow_key_clip_art-e1375897299811-36p-hi-1-e1470686574894.jpg\" alt=\"goprocpa.com\" width=\"39\" height=\"16\" \/><span style=\"color: #b79c00\">exclusively for pro members. <\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #b79c00\"><a style=\"color: #b79c00\" href=\"\/\/www.g005e.com\/wp-login.php?redirect_to=\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/04\/12\/tax-season-funnies-lawyer-vs-accountant\/\">log in here<\/a> or <a class=\"external\" style=\"color: #b79c00\" href=\"http:\/\/goprocpa.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.&#8221; \u2013 evan esar<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form.&#8221; \u2013 laurence j. peter, author<\/li>\n<li>\u201cin 1790, the nation which had fought a revolution against taxation without representation discovered that some of its citizens weren&#8217;t much happier about taxation with representation.\u201d \u2013 lyndon b. johnson<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/li>\n<li>it&#8217;s a weird world. the strong take away from the weak, the clever take away from the strong, and the government takes away from everybody.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/li>\n<li>&#8220;when not on vacation (which is a lot of the time, fortunately for the republic), congress can be hazardous to our health.&#8221; \u2013 mike causey, federal news radio, 4\/6\/17<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/li>\n<li>&#8220;alexander hamilton started the u.s. treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.&#8221; \u2013 will rogers<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/li>\n<li>&#8220;the government is really asking a lot of us this month \u2013 first we&#8217;re supposed to count how many people live in our home, then we&#8217;re supposed to count how much money we owe them. i actually got confused and accidentally sent a check to the census and a member of my household to the irs. sorry, grandma.&#8221; \u2013 jimmy kimmel<\/li>\n<li>two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. while several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches and other valuables. in the midst of the chaos, accountant no. 1 jams something in accountant no. 2\u2019s hand. without looking down, accountant no. 2 whispers, &#8220;what is this?&#8221; to which accountant no. 1 replies, &#8220;it&#8217;s that $50 i owe you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>a man was floating along in a balloon and had lost his bearings. finally he spotted a man standing on a hilltop and shouted out, \u201cwhere am i?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\">the man on the hilltop responded, \u201cyou are in a balloon about 75 feet up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\">the man in the balloon responded, \u201cyou must be a tax lawyer because what you told me is totally accurate and totally useless.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\">the tax lawyer on the hilltop responded, \u201cyou must be a tax accountant. you don\u2019t know where you are or where you are going and now you are blaming the tax lawyer.\u201d<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>four accountants walk into a bar, and each orders a beer. they raise their glasses and make a toast: &#8220;here&#8217;s to 59!&#8221; after downing their beers, they order another round and make the same toast: &#8220;here&#8217;s to 59!&#8221; this happens again and again. finally, the bartender asks the accountants what the significance of the toast is.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\">&#8220;well,&#8221; said one of them, &#8220;we put a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle together in just 59 days!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\">&#8220;and that&#8217;s a big deal?&#8221; asked the barkeep.<u><\/u><u><\/u><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\">&#8220;you bet,&#8221; said the same accountant, &#8220;the box said 4 to 8 years!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><strong>also: wait, that&#8217;s not what the box means?<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2143,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70,3002,2246],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-59538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-special","category-busy-season"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- this site is optimized with the yoast seo plugin v24.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>tax season funnies: lawyer vs. accountant - 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