{"id":72934,"date":"2020-05-13t12:00:03","date_gmt":"2020-05-13t16:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=72934"},"modified":"2020-05-25t11:25:04","modified_gmt":"2020-05-25t15:25:04","slug":"tax-season-funnies-a-rabbis-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/05\/13\/tax-season-funnies-a-rabbis-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: a rabbi’s advice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"businessman<\/a>when to use profanity.
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/p>\n

while sheltering at home i just watched a mark twain biography. hence the emphasis on that great writer in this edition.<\/p>\n

\u201ci don\u2019t know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

more: <\/b>tax season funnies: the next political party symbol<\/a> | gabriel and saint peter confer<\/a> | a tax lawyer at the pearly gates<\/a> | gargoyles in the irs?<\/a> | the \u2018service\u2019 in irs<\/a>
\n\"goprocpa.com\"exclusively for pro members. <\/span><\/strong>log in here<\/a> or 2022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cno man\u2019s life, liberty or property is safe while congress is in session.\u201d \u2013 mark twain
\n
\n\u201c[i] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. indeed, upon second thought, i will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant and degrading \u2013 though to speak truly i do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

\u201ctwenty-five years from now, you won\u2019t remember what you did; you\u2019ll remember what you didn\u2019t do.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

\u201ci know all those people [i.e., tax evaders]. i have friendly, social and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

\u201cif you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

\u201csuppose you were an idiot. and suppose you were a member of congress. but then i repeat myself.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

\u201cthere is no distinctly native american criminal class … save congress.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/p>\n

an irs agent contacted a preacher to verify a parishioner\u2019s church contributions and asked, \u201cdid mr. smith give $6,000 to your church?\u201d the father said, \u201che will, son. he will.\u201d<\/p>\n

a man, called to testify at the irs, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. \u201cwear your shabbiest clothing. let him think you are a pauper.\u201d
\nthen he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. \u201cdo not let them intimidate you. wear your most elegant suit and tie.\u201d
\nconfused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
\n\u201clet me tell you a story,\u201d replied the rabbi. \u201ca woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. \u2018wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.\u2019 but when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: \u2018wear your most sexy negligee, with a v neck right down to your navel.\u2019
\nthe man protested, \u201cwhat does all this have to do with my problem with the irs?\u201d
\n\u201cno matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed.\u201d<\/p>\n