{"id":72527,"date":"2020-03-31t12:00:18","date_gmt":"2020-03-31t16:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=72527"},"modified":"2020-06-29t11:30:48","modified_gmt":"2020-06-29t15:30:48","slug":"tax-season-funnies-gabriel-and-saint-peter-confer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2020\/03\/31\/tax-season-funnies-gabriel-and-saint-peter-confer\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: gabriel and saint peter confer"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"portrait<\/a>plus an alligator in a bar.
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as collected by robert e. mckenzie<\/em><\/div>\n
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i just filled out my income tax forms. who says you cannot get killed by a blank?<\/u><\/u><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

taxation is based on supply and demand. we supply when the government demands.<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n

more: <\/b>a tax lawyer at the pearly gates<\/a> | gargoyles in the irs?<\/a> | tax season funnies: the \u2018service\u2019 in irs<\/a>
\n\"goprocpa.com\"exclusively for pro members. <\/span><\/strong>log in here<\/a> or 2022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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when congress writes the tax laws, they often leave it to the irs to \u201cfill in the details\u201d with specific instructions. that\u2019s like asking a hungry lion to protect the sheep from the wolves.<\/div>\n

<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/p>\n

\u201cwhen you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the irs.\u201d \u2013 bumper sticker<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
you have to admire the irs. any organization that makes that much money without advertising deserves respect.<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
\u201ci feel honored to pay taxes in america. the thing is i could feel just as honored at half the price.\u201d \u2013 arthur godfrey<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
\u201clife is what happens to you while you\u2019re busy making other plans.\u201d \u2013 john lennon<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
\u201cmama always said: \u2018life is like a box of chocolates … you never know what you\u2019re gonna get.\u2019\u201d \u2013 forrest gump<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
\u201ci didn\u2019t attend the funeral, but i sent a nice letter saying i approved of it.\u201d \u2013 mark twain<\/div>\n
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\u201chis mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.\u201d \u2013 mae west<\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
a man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm.<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n
\u201cdo you serve tax collectors?\u201d he asks the barman.<\/div>\n
\u201cof course,\u201d says the barman.<\/div>\n
\u201cwell,\u201d replies the man, \u201ci\u2019ll have a beer, and my alligator will have a tax collector.\u201d<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n
<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n
and finally …<\/strong><\/div>\n
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a new york tax lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. saint peter asked him, \u201cwhat have you done to merit entrance into heaven?\u201d<\/div>\n
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the lawyer thought a moment, then said, \u201ca week ago, i gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.\u201d saint peter asked gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment gabriel affirmed that this was true.<\/div>\n
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saint peter said, \u201cwell, that\u2019s fine, but it\u2019s not really quite enough to get you into heaven.\u201d the lawyer said, \u201cwait wait! there\u2019s more! three years ago i also gave a homeless person a quarter.\u201d saint peter nodded to gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.<\/div>\n
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saint peter then whispered to gabriel, \u201cwell, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?\u201d<\/div>\n
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<\/u><\/u>gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to saint peter, <\/u><\/u>\u201clet\u2019s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to hell.\u201d<\/div>\n