{"id":59057,"date":"2019-04-01t21:38:57","date_gmt":"2019-04-02t01:38:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=59057"},"modified":"2019-04-02t13:29:33","modified_gmt":"2019-04-02t17:29:33","slug":"tax-season-funnies-april-fool-is-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/04\/01\/tax-season-funnies-april-fool-is-when\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: april fool is when?"},"content":{"rendered":"
more tax season humor:<\/b> what money can buy<\/a> | how golf is like taxes<\/a> \u00a0| after the revolution<\/a> | worst video game ever<\/a> | a little tax humor<\/a> | how many irs agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?<\/a>
\nexclusively for pro members. <\/span><\/strong>log in here<\/a> or 2022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n
- “today is april 1, april fools’ day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. don’t confuse that with april 15, when people try to fool the irs.” \u2013 jay leno<\/u><\/u><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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- “america. land of opportunity. everybody can owe the government.” \u2013 cindy adams, ny post, 3-29-09<\/u><\/u><\/li>\n
- “the end of march brings up the beginning of april: tax time. america has the highest standard of living in the world. unfortunately, we can no longer afford it.” \u2013 cindy adams, ny post, 3-29-09<\/li>\n
- “the irs has turned the american people into the largest group of liars in the history of history.” \u2013 harold harmon, durant daily democrat 4-12-09<\/u><\/u><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
they come on april 15th dear<\/u><\/u><\/b><\/h3>\n
(to the tune of “it came upon a midnight clear”)<\/b><\/u><\/u><\/div>\n<\/div>\nthey come on april 15th, dear,<\/u><\/u><\/div>\nto take away our gold.<\/u><\/u><\/div>\ntaxmen unmoved by plea or tear,<\/u><\/u><\/div>\nit makes your blood run cold.<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\noh, income tax! you break our backs,<\/u><\/u><\/div>\nthe government takes all.<\/u><\/u><\/div>\na thief by any other name<\/u><\/u><\/div>\nwould never have such gall.<\/u><\/u><\/div>\n<\/div>\n* think you can do better? leave your own verse in the comments.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/div>\n\n
- a final-year accounting student sees his buddy ride past on a new bicycle. so he stops his friend and quizzes him about the origin of the bike. “the funniest thing happened the other day,” the friend begins, “this first-year student is pushing her bike past me, when suddenly she stops, takes off all her clothes and tells me to take what i want!” to which the first accounting student replies, “good choice, the clothes would not have fit anyway!”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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- a 54-year-old accountant left a letter for his wife one evening that read, “dear wife, i am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter i will be at the grand hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18-year-old secretary.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
when he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: “dear husband, i too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter i will be at the savoy hotel with my 18-year-old boy toy. because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.”<\/div>\n<\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/b><\/div>\n\n
- an accountant tries horseback riding: <\/b>“yesterday i had a near-death experience that has changed me forever. i went horseback riding. everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. i tried with all my might to hang on but was thrown off. just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot got caught in the stirrup. when this happened, i fell head first to the ground. my head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. just as i was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the walmart manager came and unplugged it.”<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n