{"id":58365,"date":"2019-03-13t13:00:47","date_gmt":"2019-03-13t17:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/48e130086c.nxcli.net\/?p=58365"},"modified":"2019-03-15t15:45:18","modified_gmt":"2019-03-15t19:45:18","slug":"the-tax-season-funnies-aftermath-of-the-revolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/\/www.g005e.com\/2019\/03\/13\/the-tax-season-funnies-aftermath-of-the-revolution\/","title":{"rendered":"tax season funnies: after the revolution"},"content":{"rendered":"
\nmore tax season humor: <\/strong>the tax season funnies: worst video game ever<\/a> | a little tax humor<\/a> | how many irs agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?<\/a><\/p>\n
exclusively for pro members.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>log in here<\/a>\u00a0or\u00a02022世界杯足球排名 today<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
- “they can’t collect legal taxes from illegal money.” \u2013 al capone … before he was convicted of tax evasion<\/em><\/li>\n
- “while some people might find it distasteful to pay taxes, i don’t. i find it patriotic.” \u2013 mark cuban<\/em><\/li>\n
- “i don’t know if i can live on my income or not \u2013 the government won’t let me try it.” \u2013 bob thaves<\/em><\/li>\n
- “the big winners under the american fiscal system are the rich, who pay some of the lowest taxes anywhere in the world; the old, who are the main beneficiaries of the american social service state; farmers, rural people. these are republican constituencies.” \u2013 david frum<\/em><\/li>\n
- “some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.” \u2013 evan esar<\/em><\/li>\n
- \u201cin 1790, the nation which had fought a revolution against taxation without representation discovered that some of its citizens weren’t much happier about taxation with representation.\u201d \u2013 lyndon b. johnson<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
- what does a graduate student with a science degree ask?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
why does it work?<\/p>\n
what does a grad student with an accounting degree ask?<\/strong><\/p>\n
how much will it cost?<\/p>\n
what does a grad student with a liberal arts degree ask?<\/strong><\/p>\n
do you want fries with that?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n
- a cpa goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. the shopkeeper shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, \u201cthe parrot on the left costs $500.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
\u201cwhy does that parrot cost so much?\u201d asks the cpa. \u201cwell,\u201d replies the owner, \u201cit knows how to do complex audits.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201chow much does the middle parrot cost?\u201d asks the cpa. \u201cthat one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.\u201d<\/p>\n
the startled cpa asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. needless to say, this begs the question, what can it do? to which the owner replies, \u201cto be honest, i have never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him senior partner.\u201d<\/p>\n