why aren’t you more successful? make sure this isn’t the reason.
by steven e. sacks
the new fundamentals
technology has overtaken the traditional forms of communication that include face-to-face interaction, telephone conversations and of course, the handwritten or typed note slipped into an envelope, affixed with a stamp and dropped in the mailbox.
more: business is about relationships | reaching for authenticity in client service | deadlines? ha! don’t make me laugh | organizational change starts and ends with people | busyness isn’t the same as productivity | staff orientation: a little investment goes a long way
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but wait. how can professionals succeed if the situation calls for in-person interaction if they have not been given the necessary training in the art of a conversation? whether you are involved in a job interview or entertaining a potential client over a meal, how you exercise the appropriate behavior will determine whether a relationship is forged or tossed on the pile of failed results.
civility and courtesy never go out of style, though these days these elements are challenged. ill-formed and ill-conceived emails, arrogant or impatient tones over the phone and poor body language can sabotage efforts to gain new business. and let’s not forget the practitioner or boss who is more interested in performing a brain dump rather than listening to the concerns of a client or a staff member.
it’s not a secret that customers, vendors, suppliers and other third parties (not to mention peers, superiors and subordinates) will respond more favorably to your entreaties if you exercise courtesy and respect.
“courteous treatment will make a customer a walking advertisement.” – james cash penney
on a visceral level, people want to do business with people they like, respect and have confidence in.
want assistance on an engagement? express yourself clearly but courteously. want to get an answer to a technical question from a very busy practitioner, use empathy and make a request that respects his or her time. you are more likely to get a timely response. make a demand that you need the information immediately, well, good luck with that.
an initial impression leads to a long memory
quid pro quos are but one element that fuels commerce. believe it or not, it also works in politics when there is trust. if you have done a good turn for someone, it will be remembered the next time you ask for a favor from the same person. conversely, if you were dismissive when asked for assistance or advice, this, too, will be remembered. whether you are a cpa or a car dealer, if the client or customer felt you gave him or her short shrift, you may never hear disenchantment expressed. the individual will just silently end the relationship.
in the pre-internet days, the termination of this relationship would most likely remain with just the involved parties. today with social media, your reputation will be tarnished quickly and more broadly.
client or customer loyalty is gold. it does not fall into your lap. you must protect and nurture it. the conundrum professional service providers face is understanding what acceptable behaviors are. the marketplace is much more competitive and rough and tumble. this can result in misguided actions to earn that quick buck. in reality, you are setting the stage for developing a bad reputation. the consequences of incivility may not manifest themselves immediately; a quick “win” gained through aggressive behavior will result in a loss of repeat business accompanied by a negative image.
changing workplaces with changing demographics. same old behaviors.
today’s workplaces have more women and minorities in various functions and positions of authority. i find it stunning that silicon valley and other bastions of technology act as if this is still the late ’50s/early ’60s. harassment, lawsuits and social media sniping have shined a light on the dichotomy between technical prowess and the understanding of social mores. firings and resignations abound, coupled with insincere apologies. (jeez. i had to be caught by a whistleblower!) money does not make you exempt from conducting yourself as a leader and a positive influence.
if you are not sure whether frat behavior is appropriate even though your co-workers are all in their 20s and 30s, i suggest taking the high road and putting yourself in their shoes. take the advice of the late dr. stephen covey: “seek first to understand. then to be understood.”
civility, respect and etiquette do not mean you subordinate your beliefs to those of others. it just means you need to be clear and convincing, but in a civil and polite manner. if you want to move up the leadership ladder, keep courtesy, civility and respect in your back pocket.