… instead of consuming you.
by bill reeb
worry is an instinctive response that is meant to surface an issue or problem that needs attention. it is an internal alarm system saying, “danger, danger, will robinson, danger” (okay, you got me … a quote from “lost in space,” a mid-’60s tv series).
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like so many of our psychological and physiological responses, too much or too little of this emotion can be equally negative. if you don’t ever worry, then you might get caught off guard regarding something you could have easily prepared for. on the other hand, too much worry is like too much adrenalin: your body will just wear itself out by constantly processing it.
worry is often manifested in a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions that steal your energy and create a cloud of doom over your life, and can be a disabling force. worry can be good when it is a thought that you instantly consider, manage, respond to and then calm. however, while a little bit of worrying might be positive, it won’t take long before this act turns very negative.
when you regularly find yourself worrying, then you have allowed this internal response system to get out of hand and move from being a good survival tool to one that can eventually control your life.
worry is a form of fear. and just like fear, the best way to control it is to accept the possible outcome you are concerned about, and then do what you can right now to improve your chances of avoiding that situation.
worrying can be a valuable informational tool, but when those thoughts start, keep the worry in check and use it in a positive way by doing the following:
- recognize what it is you are actually worrying about. what is the root cause driving these emotions?
- accept the idea that what you are considering could occur.
- ask yourself if there is anything you should be doing right now to alter the course of this possibly damaging situation.
- if the answer to question 3 is “yes,” then take a moment to identify what you are going to do and when.
- if the answer to question 3 is “no,” then clean your mind through a quick meditation and let those negative thoughts go.
using these steps, you can manage your amount of worrying instead of allowing it to manage you. this accountability of knowing that you are responsible for controlling this mental process will allow you to continue moving on your path rather than becoming a wreck along the way. as bobby mcferrin simplifies in his hit song, “in your life expect some trouble. when you worry you make it double. don’t worry! be happy!”
assess yourself on your worry management. circle how you feel you are doing. on this subject, i:
- need a lot of work
- need a little work
- am okay
- feel good where i am
what am i worrying about?
what can i do so that worry is a useful tool and doesn’t consume me?