being judgmental is self-destructive.
by bill reeb
a big step in the right direction to regain momentum occurs when you start cutting yourself some slack.
more: are you sure you’re in the wrong place? | how to change the way you think (and why) | have your beliefs stopped serving you? |don’t use only your strengths | are you your biggest obstacle? | why your to-do list isn’t getting done | appreciate the joy that comes from work | covid crisis requires new mindsets | 3 early warning signals for overachievers | how overachievers can get ‘unstuck’
exclusively for pro members. log in here or 2022世界杯足球排名 today.
after you decide that you are going to make a change in your plans or objectives, it is common human behavior to beat yourself up for not arriving at that same decision earlier. on top of that, i often see people shining an intense spotlight on themselves, scrutinizing every step in their progress as they start down any new path.
it is almost as if we think that because we were late in making the decision, we should expect flawless performance and instant skill development to make up for the lost time. given that progress and skill usually develop over time, putting pressure on yourself by expecting accelerated performance is a terrible idea. not only will this pressure likely diminish the speed of your development, but i see this misguided perspective creating a level of frustration that tends to motivate people to give up rather than hang in there and get better.
there is a second outcome this attitude breeds that is far less logical but unfortunately more destructive. because of perceived lack of performance, the person subconsciously decides to hurt him or herself. this way, permission to quit is forced because of injury and no one has to admit that an obstacle couldn’t be faced.
start with the phrase “you are right where you are supposed to be.” now add, “and i accept where i am and that i am going to put together a plan to move forward at a sustainable pace.”
it is about making a little bit of progress every day, not a year’s worth of progress in a week (because the latter, though often desired, is rarely fulfilled). don’t put yourself under your own microscope and then constantly belittle and be judgmental about every step of your performance. being judgmental is self-destructive, not self-developing.
what am i being judgmental about that is holding me back? what should i do to stop it?