meditation is one way, but there are others.
by bill reeb
your mind is the most powerful resource available to you. it is easy to think of it as a supercomputer, running your physical being: constantly compiling data, processing complex transactions, creating internally revealed reports and so on.
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we know through research that most of us barely tap into our brain’s full capability, so it is also not hard to get complacent and deem the brain to be some magical organ that we just hope keeps running properly. as well, it is easy for us to get comfortable interacting with our minds as if we were only data entry operators rather than the brain’s lead programmer.
with this perspective in mind, doesn’t it make sense that a key focus to finding the success and happiness you desire is to learn to better manage this onboard supercomputer? most people try to manage it through influence – changing our way of thinking by constantly having the mind process new data. this approach usually takes a lot of time because dramatic change requires an overwhelming amount of new data to modify or refute positions and beliefs with which we have grown comfortable.
we have all heard the historically used tagline of the naacp in its initiatives and advertisements: “a mind is a terrible thing to waste.” because of the minimal effort many people make to challenge and control this incredible asset, we’ve become comfortable wasting it. so, while the “new data” approach can be effective over time, i believe there are more powerful, more direct and quicker ways to change our minds through “reprogramming.”
consider tension, fear, worry, guilt, duty, failure, permission and more. most of the time, these reactions or emotions are not about reality, but rather, our mind’s current interpretations. these interpretations instantly cause intellectual, psychological and physiological responses. so, how do we reprogram our minds to work more to our advantage? there are a number of strategies to consider.
the first is to calm it. meditation is known to be a fantastic tool that can rein in the chaos that often overwhelms us. meditation doesn’t have to last hours to be valuable … you can focus your mind, clear out the frantic thoughts and change the way you feel in seconds.
for example, consider that for most of my life, i had high blood pressure readings every time i went to see my doctor. the fact is … i don’t normally have high blood pressure (i know this because i frequently monitor my blood pressure at home with a machine that is regularly benchmarked against those in my doctor’s office). but for years, all i would have to do was be in one of those doctor’s stalls and my blood pressure would shoot up 20 points (both diastolic and systolic), along with my heart rate. after i learned how to calm my mind, “the white coat syndrome” physiological responses vanished.
meditation is about focus. the easiest way to do this is to fix your mind on one point or one thought. just listening to your breathing is the simplest idea. to augment that, as thoughts come into your mind, don’t analyze them, don’t process them, don’t respond to them, just observe them and let them fly right back out. don’t hold on to them! when you focus entirely on your breathing, you will find in seconds that your mind clears, emotions fade, pain may subside and so much more. by incorporating this seconds-to-minutes meditative approach into your life, you can have an instant impact on the way you think, which will give you better control over your actions, responses and emotions.
while meditation can instantly reprogram the mind, there are other approaches as well. i mentioned the most common one above: reprogramming through learning. another way to reprogram the mind is by trying to observe a situation from a different perspective. as we expand our perspective and awareness, we can easily change our beliefs or world views. here is an experience that comes to mind:
my stepdaughter, cheri, and i had numerous conflicts in her late teenage years and early twenties. fortunately for me, we both outgrew them and have a wonderful relationship today.
however, one of our confrontations had deteriorated to the point that michaelle decided it would be beneficial to get help. we knew karl krumm ph.d., a friend of ours and psychologist could provide that assistance. the conflict was over who paid for college. my rule – and yes, i unfortunately had a lot of rules back then – was that as long as cheri brought home b’s or above, we would pay for everything (books, tuition, living expenses). cheri thought i was being too controlling and was frustrated by the unnecessary pressure i was adding to her life. i thought she was being too spoiled and was frustrated by her feelings of entitlement. we were at an impasse. i clearly remember sitting with cheri, michaelle and karl as i laid out my view of the situation. karl then asked cheri to do the same. he also asked her if earning b’s was difficult for her to which she replied that it was not but that my approach was just adding unnecessary pressure.
i can still remember the comments karl made immediately after we were both done defending our positions. first, he looked at me with his brows furrowed and said, “you need to lighten up.” then, he looked at cheri and said, “you might be looking at this all wrong. what you are hearing is that if you don’t perform up to his standards, he will punish you and take away something you want. what he is also saying, that i believe you are overlooking, is that as long as you make “or better, he can’t take his support away. have you thought about how much control you have over this situation, especially given the lack of difficulty you have in maintaining the grade-point average required? you are in control … he isn’t! while bill set up the terms of the agreement, he also has to live with them.”
well, needless to say, cheri was much happier after that counseling session – much happier than i was at first. while i had not thought of our situation the way karl described it, he was right; i had to abide by the agreement. both of us adopted a new perspective immediately, including the need for me to lighten up. as cheri and i expanded our perspectives of the situation, our views and beliefs changed. when cheri came to the meeting, she was mad because she felt she had no control. by the time she left, she realized she had a great deal of control, not only of her life, but over her college funding as well. in reality, however, nothing had actually changed except our perspectives! by the way, while cheri and i were fighting over this issue, she had never brought home grades less than a b anyway. this was simply a conflict over a principle. here was a case in which it was easy to reprogram the mind by viewing the situation from another angle.
the overall message here is that we need to take on the lead programmer role when it comes to constantly reprograming our minds and stop defaulting to being just data entry operators. we can change our beliefs, values, emotions, thoughts, physical responses and psychological responses in mere seconds. this dynamic resource prompted one of the fundamental concepts of my book, which is
all you have to do to be different is to think differently!
wow … can it really be this simple? i certainly believe it is. my mentor john and i see transformations every day in training and coaching as people leap from one skill level to the next simply because they let something go that allowed them to start thinking differently. or, they have been able to instantly lighten the load they have been carrying just by challenging why they are thinking the way they do.