appreciate the joy that comes from work

stop wishing your life away.

by bill reeb

we spend about 99.7 percent (statistic totally fabricated but the phrase “vast majority” would certainly apply) of our time en route to some objective. if you can find happiness, serenity or a feeling of success only when you arrive at your intended destinations, then you are destined to be unhappy or feeling unsuccessful almost all of the time.

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i remember my wife and i vacationing in puerto rico many years ago. we decided to go to the el yunque national forest reserve and walk up to the top of one of the el yunque mountains. given that we like to hike, this was not a difficult climb because it was only about five miles roundtrip on a paved path.

as is typical of my normal overachiever driven self, i focused on getting to the top, pushing myself to walk at a very brisk pace to get there quickly so i could bask in my accomplishment (number of minutes to the top) and the view. why? mostly because i am an idiot!

i remember michaelle stopping numerous times and just spending a few moments inhaling the views. the lush scenery, abounding ferns, little tree frogs that made a beautiful unique chirping-like sound, all provided the landscape for this magical stroll. because i had my head down, digging to keep a constant pace up the grade, i rarely looked at my surroundings. even when i did look, i thought to myself, “this will be so fantastic when i stop and take it all in at the top.”

well, in a little over an hour we finally arrived. at the top, moments before i arrived, cloud cover rolled in. when michaelle got to the top, because there was nothing there to see, we turned around and started back down. knowing what i had missed, i was looking forward to absorbing the views as we headed back down. the only problem was those views had also disappeared as the cloud cover was dropping. so rather than being able to take in the gorgeous 10-plus miles of views of the land and ocean that i only caught a glimpse of walking up, nothing but a white blanket was visible as far as the eye could see going down.

i can remember that specific moment, which is something for me because i have the memory of a gnat (not so good). as i walked down that trail, i found myself thinking differently.

i decided then that i needed to start enjoying where i was and what was right in front of me, and not be blinded by some arbitrary achievement or objective that had to be accomplished before i would allow myself such a luxury.

you might conclude that i considered that hike to be a bad experience (certainly it was not for my wife because she enjoyed all of it), but when i changed my perspective, i found myself surrounded by the beauty of that subtropical rain forest right there around the path. and though the beauty of the view from the top would have been wonderful, there was plenty to see and hear right in front of me.

you would think that after the el yunque experience and revelation that i would have this “finding joy in the work” thing nailed. but oh no, i am a complicated man. it was only a few years ago that i was traveling way too much – one year about 240 days. for many road warriors out there, 240 days away from home would be a piece of cake compared to what they commonly experience, but for me it was way over the line. on one hand, i felt privileged to have the work. on the other, i was not living my plan and my life was out of balance.

one particular three-month period i was on the road for many weeks, then spent a couple of days at home and then i was off again for another multiweek trip. my schedule was crazy, running from one city to another, one hotel to the next. i was in so many hotels during that period that i couldn’t even remember my room number, and when i did, it was often for a room at a previous hotel (you can imagine some of the interesting encounters i had with other guests as they thought i was trying to break into their rooms).

anyway, during this period, because of my grueling schedule, i often found myself thinking, “if i can just get through wednesday, i’ll be okay” or “if i can just make it through the end of this week, then i will have a chance to relax.” i realized as i was getting on a plane one evening that i had successfully wished away several months of my life. those months of my life were gone and were nothing but a blur. then i thought if i continued with this life management strategy of wishing it away rather than enjoying it, i could easily find myself asking “what happened to the last five years of my life?”

that night, while sitting on a plane talking on the phone with michaelle, i remember saying to her, “i am tired, and traveling is not something i want to do right now, but i am no longer willing to ‘wish my life away.’ i am going to try to stay in the moment and make the most out of whatever i am doing, bad or good. i don’t want my life to pass by being only partially engaged by it.” yes, i can hear you grumbling because i thought it too … “there is nothing wrong with wanting to get through the work you don’t enjoy.” i see your point because i have lived it, but i am not buying it anymore.

wishing time away so that you can get through your work will cause you to miss a lot of little things that will bring you happiness or feelings of success. today, when my wife or i see the other completely absorbed by a final goal, we quickly shut that down with our code phrase, “remember el yunque.”

what should you be doing differently to more fully enjoy the work you are engaged in accomplishing? what aspects of the work are you focused on that you commonly find yourself trying to wish away or get through?

posted on june 18, 2020