getting a referral from an adversary

… but don’t go fishing for one.

by ed mendlowitz
call me before you do anything: the art of accounting

one time i received a call with a referral from another professional who was an adversary in a contentious deal on which i represented a client.

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i thanked him but expressed surprise because we seemed to always be at each other’s throats.

he replied, “the deal got done, didn’t it?” of course i said yes. he said, “so why shouldn’t i recommend you if you did a great job representing your client? that’s what i need you to do here.”

everyone is a referral source. adversaries don’t seem like they would be, but when you vigorously represent your client, are fair, listen to the other side’s issues, don’t lie, keep your commitments, are on top of everything that is happening, do what you say you will do and don’t let yourself get pulled away from the important objective, people develop respect for you – even if you are the “enemy.”

this has happened enough times to make me realize this is a viable way to get referrals. what you cannot do is hint in the slightest way that you expect something in return or would appreciate referrals. that, in my opinion, creates a conflict of interest, wiping out any credibility you might have had. do your job as best as anyone could.

a few times it has been hinted to me that i might get recommendations in the future. that is a bribe, and any indication you are interested in that is also a conflict of interest, reducing your effectiveness.

know what you need to do for your client and get it done. don’t allow yourself to get sidetracked or look for other work. you cannot dance at two weddings at the same time.

posted on june 17, 2019