a little tax humor for busy season, as collected, curated and refined by robert e. mckenzie. enjoy!
- it’s not that we can’t fill out a simple tax return. the problem is that in so many cases, a simple tax return simply doesn’t exist.
– anderson independent mail, 1-25-12
- love, sex, and the i.r.s are three things that will always be with us.
– dave howell, the morning call, 3-30-15
- it’s always sunny the day after tax season, regardless of the weather.
– kurt schneider, cpa 4-20-17
- “an income tax is the price which the government charges for the privilege of having taxable income.”
– secretary of the treasury andrew mellon
- turbotax is the worst video game ever.
- the american taxpayers wouldn’t object to free transportation for certain government officials if they’d go where we wish they would.
- a cpa goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. the shopkeeper shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, “the parrot on the left costs $500.” “why does that parrot cost so much?”, asks the cpa. “well”, replies the owner, “it knows how to do complex audits.” “how much does the middle parrot cost?” asks the cpa. “that one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.” the startled cpa asks about the third parrot and is told it costs $4,000. that begs the question, what can it do? to which the owner replies, “to be honest, i have never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him senior partner.”