current leaders have to set the tone.
by rick solomon
bridging the gap
like most conflicts, the generational gap between current and emerging leaders can be minimized or eliminated by honest communication that involves a degree of vulnerability.
more: growing, developing future leaders is a two-way street | they don’t want to be owners! | the culture of continuous improvement | a winning culture is an intentional culture | a call for change: an open letter to each generation
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when open sharing of goals and perspectives takes place, all parties are better able to understand and respect the individual needs of “the opposition.” in such an environment it becomes far easier to find ways to meet the desires of all participants and create a shared path toward mutual satisfaction.
there is a fundamentally false assumption that’s responsible for the gap between current and emerging firm leaders. this gap limits what we can accomplish, makes things harder than necessary and undermines the very quality of our lives. what is this false assumption? that the reality we experience is “the reality” when in fact it, is simply “our reality.” this false assumption causes us to conclude that our view of things is right, and others are wrong. hence, the gap.
at a recent workshop with both current and emerging leaders, current leaders were sharing how they wished up-and-comers would step up and take more responsibility in the firm. “we’d be happy to give them more power, but they don’t seem to be rising to the occasion.” they felt the younger generation wasn’t as motivated as they were, and that they were overly concerned about their life/work balance. in short, they were expecting the younger generation to have the same view of the world that they had, and do what they did. it sounded like they wanted clones of themselves!
emerging leaders were also in the room. they had a different perspective. they said they wanted to take more responsibility in the firm, but it wasn’t clear exactly what was expected. “of course we want to advance our careers and move up, but we’re not interested in spending the rest of our lives working 50- to 60-hour weeks. we want a life outside of work.” there was more.
the apparent gap is readily dissolved with honest, open communication, starting with the premise that neither group is “right” but rather that each has its own set of views.
communication is effective only to the degree that we recognize our view as simply our view, and honor and respect other views as equally valid. easier said than done. we’re invested in our views and we love being right. we have evidence to support our views. but then again, so does everyone else. one of the reasons everyone has his or her own interpretation of “right” is that our views serve as filters, allowing in only that which validates and reinforces them, and excluding evidence to the contrary.
current leaders may feel they’ve earned the right to define “right.” perhaps, but isn’t the real question whether we are getting the results we want? leaders who choose to let go of their ego-driven need for power and control discover a new, higher realm of possibilities to inspire and support others to step up. in essence, such leaders create the space within which emerging leaders can thrive. in the end, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about what views will produce the desired result.
it’s up to current leaders to set the tone by making it safe for people to share openly. leaders need to be authentic and vulnerable. people resonate with that and begin to feel permission to participate in a dialogue the same way. it’s helpful to ask ourselves if we’re trying to maintain a façade or an image when it comes to communicating with our team, or are we open, willing to share what we really feel, including some of our fears and concerns? this behavior tells others it’s safe for them to do the same.
for the emerging leader, the best advice is to listen and learn from the leaders who precede you and then to share what’s in your heart and what matters to you. be bold and courageous. talk about how you want to contribute to the firm, and the future you’d like to have. share your ideas on ways the firm might do things better (with permission of course!). let current leaders know the type of support that could help you thrive. if there’s a current leader you have great respect for, perhaps ask him or her to mentor you and give you some guidance. most firm leaders would love that. in short, ask for what you want, and stay committed to what’s important to you.
communication needs to be viewed as an ongoing process rather than a one-time event. get to know each other as people, including each person’s goals and aspirations, whether that means looking toward retirement or building a career. support each other in achieving what each person wants, and you’ll see common goals met with greater ease and enthusiasm.
for a gap between current and emerging leaders to survive, it must remain unexamined and undiscussed. when we welcome different views into the light, we see our reality as simply our own collection of views, and we’re free to choose others. we can let go of the ones that don’t serve us, even the ones that feel comfortable and familiar, and choose views that better serve our purpose. this more enlightened approach opens us to a greater set of possibilities for success, happiness, fulfillment – pretty much everything we all want. as we shift our views, our world changes. don’t believe me. try it and see for yourself.
discussion questions
- what assumptions are you carrying about how emerging leaders, or current leaders, “should” behave that are leading to a sense of disappointment or conflict?
- pick a few goals that all participants can agree on and then, working backward from those goals, examine the different ways current and emerging leaders express their commitment to the goals.
- what can your firm do to institutionalize increased transparency and sharing of visions, goals and challenges between generations on a personal level?