how long are you talking?
by ed mendlowitz
101 questions and answers: managing an accounting practice, the complete 2-volume set
q: i notice that most of the time my staff doesn’t listen when i talk. how can i make them listen?
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a: err, what did you say?
just kidding! i find this issue very widespread. i believe there is an epidemic of people not listening, not just staff.
clients, partners, colleagues, associates, fellow professionals and vendors are all guilty of not listening. i notice this almost daily, and it is tedious and extremely annoying. people call me with questions and only hear what they want to hear, which is usually very little. others don’t listen because they perceive themselves as “being too important to spend time listening.” some clients are not happy with their lives so no answer can satisfy them.
in some respect people live in their own world with them being the nucleus and everyone else orbiting planets. it is almost like a parallel existence.
we all seem continuously distracted, with a lack of focus and inattention. a real epidemic!
what to do about it? be clear about what you say and say as little as you can to get your point across. keep things simple and don’t make multiple statements or requests. don’t get into long diatribes. i think you are better dealing with more brief calls or conversations than one long one. this creates more interruptions, but i believe it is more effective.
also, when all else fails, don’t put yourself in a position of having to deal with these boors unless you have absolutely no choice. life is too short!
oh, and don’t you become one of them!
p.s. just after i wrote this, i had to drive somewhere and my wife started giving me directions and i typically did not pay attention to her. i thought of what i just wrote, and asked her to repeat it and i really listened to her the second time. result: i got to where i was going without a hitch and without having to take the gps out of my glove compartment and start programming in where i needed to be. it works!
2 responses to “why no one listens to you”
renee solinger
if someone is not interested in what you are saying, they do not listen. if staff, a colleague, a client, whomever is interested, they listen. i do agree that keeping what we are saying short and to the point is helpful. i pay attention, and if i see that the other person is zoning out, i stop talking.
frank stitely
and a lot of times, staff don’t listen because previous diatribes had no follow through or were “do as i say – not as i do.” staff quit listening then.