how to write a release that gets attention.
by bruce w. marcus
professional services marketing 3.0
a recent business communication book says that in writing news releases, the lead paragraph should include the five w’s—who, why, what, when and where. a textbook on journalism written in the 1920s says the same thing—the five w’s. nothing has changed in more than 70 years? don’t believe it.
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just read any good newspaper in the u.s., canada or great britain. and what newspapers do is what releases must do. why? because the simple release, the staple of public relations, is not simple at all.
it’s a complex form of journalism, in which the release writer competes directly with the professional journalist, as well with every other release sent at the same time, for scarce publication space or broadcast time.
all releases compete in an arena in which the editor to whom the release is sent may not be particularly receptive.
the key to seeing your release in print is to understand the journalistic process. this is very different from merely rewriting the last release you read or wrote. in good journalistic writing, even if some of the five w’s are appropriately included, they’re not the point. the point is to focus on the news itself.
there are other myths as well, such as always putting the least important news at the end, because that’s the way editors cut. not since 1910, if ever at all. that practice goes back to the days of the old telegraph, when less was more, because the telegrapher had to work at it. now, newspaper editors are better and more professional than that. and with computers, clip and edit is out. it’s usually all rewritten because with computers it’s easy to do.
what do we see in a modern news story that can help us write better, more competitive releases?
we see that the lead paragraph is most often a terse, exciting summary of the heart of the story — a definition of its most important, intriguing, exciting elements. but it does not always attempt to tell it all in one sentence. the subsequent paragraphs then spell out the details, usually in descending order of probable interest to readers, and more significantly, relevance to the key elements of the lead sentence.
the first reader — the audience — of the release is obviously not the newspaper’s ultimate reader, but the publication’s editor. if the editor isn’t intrigued by the story — and by the first sentence — the release is dead. and don’t rely on the headline you put on the release. that’s not what’s read. it’s all in the first sentence, no matter what gems reside in the rest of the story.
the model, then, is not other releases, but the news story itself. for example, this from the new york times…
“in the race to commercialize new superconductors that could revolutionize the electronics, energy and transportation industries, the united states is already in danger of falling behind japan, many experts say.”
in one exciting sentence, the writer tells the entire story, leaving only the details to be fleshed out. and without the traditional five w’s, the lead sentence defies the reader not to continue reading the rest of the story. compare this with the more typical release …
“harold adams, managing partner of the accounting firm xyz, announced today that three new partners have been appointed.”
does this release cause the editor to stop the presses and tear up the front page?
who is harold adams? who is the xyz accounting firm, and why should anyone outside of the xyz firm care? of what interest is the appointment of three new partners to anybody except their families?
but suppose the lead were…
“new capabilities in real estate accounting will now be available to local business, as a result of three new accounting firm partners appointed today by xyz accounting firm, it was announced today by the firm’s managing partner, harold adams.”
now the lead tells the editor that something significant has happened, which is more important than who it happened to. it may be well worth his time to read on to find out just how local business will be better served, and who these people are.
it’s important to discern how each publication defines news because it tells you that you must cast even the most mundane story into one that dramatizes and excites (without hyperbole, of course). this is why reading a publication to determine its concept of news is crucial.
and even if your story is not likely to make the front page of the new york times, by writing it as if it were, you are more likely to hit any publication you send it to.
in the final analysis, the release writer proposes, but the publication’s editor disposes. your only help, then, is skill in contemporary journalistic technique, and not in the release-writing clichés of the past.